“Most of the gods throw dice but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along.”
—Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times, Chapter One
June 2013
7 posts
there are always 3 types of sims gamers:
- benevolent god: okay i'm gonna set everything up really nice and make sure everyone is comfortable and then i'll zoom right in and watch carefully oops is your hunger bar getting low don't worry shh i have that taken care of i have a cheat shhh it's okay keep painting that weird purple thing i love you
- distant god: i'll set your life in motion but then i'm gonna pull back and let you do your thing maybe i'll wander the town a bit i'm sure you'll be fine
- loki: OOPS WHERE'D THAT DOOR GO I GUESS YOU'RE TRAPPED AND OH NO DID THE POOL LADDER DISAPPEAR I WONDER HOW LONG YOU CAN SWIM FOR HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU MORTAL
OK SO IN ENGLAND THIS IS WHAT A RUBBER IS
AND SOMEONE ON MY DASH JUST MENTIONED PUTTING A ‘RUBBER’ ON YOUR PENIS AND
I GOT REALLY REALLY CONFUSED
THIS IS WHAT WE CALL A RUBBER IN AUSTRALIA TOO. WE FEEL YOUR PAIN.
SAME WITH NEW ZEALAND.
We don’t have those in America because we don’t make mistakes.
THAT WAS ONE TIME
HE WAS ELECTED TWICE.
BUT WHAT IF IN THE DISTANT FUTURE AND 60 PLAYSTATION GENERATIONS LATER SONY ANNOUNCES THE PLAYSTATION 64 AND NINTENDO JUST LAUGHS LIKE YOU’RE SO 3000-LATE AS THEY ANNOUNCE THEIR NEW MIND-CONTROLLED CONSOLE CALLED NINTENDO THEM
May 2013
25 posts
Last I saw mother, she smelt like a rose,
When they caught me, the captain, he opened my nose.
Cause the rabbit will run and the wind takes a bird where it blows.
you see in the UK it’s not about winning
it’s about not coming last
i remember when france gave the uk one point last year
and then graham norton said:
we built a tunnel to your country
if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
“A simple example of a good design is the 3½-inch magnetic diskette for computers, a small circle of “floppy” magnetic material encased in hard plastic. Earlier types of floppy disks did not have this plastic case, which protects the magnetic material from abuse and damage. A sliding metal cover protects the delicate magnetic surface when the diskette is not in use and automatically opens when the diskette is inserted into the computer. The diskette has a square shape: there are apparently eight possible ways to insert it into the machine, only one of which is correct. What happens if I do it wrong? I try inserting the disk sideways. Ah, the designer thought of that. A little study shows that the case really isn’t square: it’s rectangular, so you can’t insert a longer side. I try backward. The diskette goes in only part of the way. Small protrusions, indentations, and cutouts, prevent the diskette from being inserted backward or upside down: of the eight ways one might try to insert the diskette, only one is correct, and only that one will fit. An excellent design.”
—
Donald Norman
(One thing he didn’t mention was that the two holes on the bottom of a high density disk are spaced as far apart as the holes on a A4 hole punch, so you can clip them into ring binders. I just love clever stuff like this.)
Space Oddity →
youtu.be
I hope he makes it home safe. The thought of going upward to look down on the Earth (like he does at the end) is a bit of a headfuck.
Rhiannon
All your life you’ve never seen a woman taken by the sky,
Would you stay if she promised you heaven?
Would you even try?
how do i know if this is a jason derulo song or not if only he could let me know in some way
April 2013
3 posts
Must tell myself that I’m not here.
I’m drowning in a liquid fear.
Bottled in a strong compression,
My distortion shows obsession
In this cave.
In Flo-Rida’s song “Low” he states that Shawty is wearing the apple bottom jeans, the boots with the fur AND the Reeboks with the straps, what is she some kind of four legged morph woman? In all honesty I’m not surprised the whole club is looking at her
March 2013
15 posts
Tumblr goes down for 24 hours
- Hour 1: 50% of users begin to experience withdrawal symptoms. Head aches, nausea etc.
- Hour 2: Fandoms begin to start wars as they have no where to vent their feels about fan fiction.
- Hour 3: Users begin to die.
- Hour 4: White girls begin emailing pictures of their starbucks to everyone on their email list/put on facebook.
- Hour 5: The weaker fandoms are all dead.
- Hour 6: 40% of users have died due to withdrawal.
- Hour 7: Starbucks notices a massive declines in profits as white girls are no longer coming as they can't post their pictures of starbucks anywhere.
- Hour 8: The cats and kittens begin to act out as we are no longer are putting cute gifs of them anywhere and therefore pay minimum attention to them.
- Hour 9: Massive decline in numbers in fandoms. Only about 30% of people still alive and fighting for the next season. The Sherlock Fandom is becoming rabid as they can't post about how season 3 is never coming.
- Hour 10: People read books and with no where to moan about it begin to go crazy.
- Hour 11: 70% of remaining tumblr users are in the fotel postion or rocking back and forth.
- Hour 12: People begin to put pictures of Patrick Star and the sky on cars and buses.
- Hour 13: No one dyes their hair because they can't post it on tumblr or ask people's opinion.
- Hour 14: John Green has written another book because tumblr is no longer distracting him.
- Hour 15: Anyone not already dead from the withdrawal has fallen into a zombie like state.
- Hour 16: People begin to mail random questions to random people with no return address.
- Hour 17: Only 20% of users remain.
- Hour 18: Doctor Who fandom and Sherlock fandom has joined together to find Moffat and punish him for his crimes against feels.
- Hour 19: Rehab has become over run with users who have hit rock bottom after seeing what withdrawal does to them.
- Hour 20: sleep.
- Hour 21: The 20% who remain have begun to form a secret society.
- Hour 22: They worship a cat.
- Hour 23: They hunt down tumblr creator, karp and offer him as sacfrice to the cat.
- Hour 24: Millions of deaths. Tumblr back up. People begin to regain some sanity.
- Sadly, this is all true.
“Nevertheless, it seems clear that there are relatively few ranges of values for the numbers that would allow the development of any form of intelligent life. Most sets of values would give rise to universes that, although they might be very beautiful, would contain no one able to wonder at that beauty.”
—
(via scienceisbeauty)
“A friend should always underestimate your virtues and an enemy overestimate your faults.”
—Mario Puzo,The Godfather. (via fuckyeahwritersquotesandwisdom)
“So many people today — and even professional scientists — seem to me like someone who has seen thousands of trees but has never seen a forest.”
—Albert Einstein
There is so little time…
Your eyes say yes,
But you don’t say yes.
I wish you were mine.
So I ran to the devil, he was waitin’…
the nominees are
- leonardo dicaprio
- leonardo dicaprio
- leonardo dicaprio
- leonardo dicaprio
- leonardo dicaprio
and the winner is *opens envelope*
- adele
