“Most of the gods throw dice but Fate plays chess, and you don’t find out until too late that he’s been playing with two queens all along.” — Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times, Chapter One
[video]
[video]
WHAT
PLOT FUCKIN TWIST???
(Source: touko, via theepitomeofchaos)
OK SO IN ENGLAND THIS IS WHAT A RUBBER IS
AND SOMEONE ON MY DASH JUST MENTIONED PUTTING A ‘RUBBER’ ON YOUR PENIS AND
I GOT REALLY REALLY CONFUSED
THIS IS WHAT WE CALL A RUBBER IN AUSTRALIA TOO. WE FEEL YOUR PAIN.
SAME WITH NEW ZEALAND.
We don’t have those in America because we don’t make mistakes.
THAT WAS ONE TIME
HE WAS ELECTED TWICE.
(via theepitomeofchaos)
BUT WHAT IF IN THE DISTANT FUTURE AND 60 PLAYSTATION GENERATIONS LATER SONY ANNOUNCES THE PLAYSTATION 64 AND NINTENDO JUST LAUGHS LIKE YOU’RE SO 3000-LATE AS THEY ANNOUNCE THEIR NEW MIND-CONTROLLED CONSOLE CALLED NINTENDO THEM
(via theepitomeofchaos)
Last I saw mother, she smelt like a rose,
When they caught me, the captain, he opened my nose.
Cause the rabbit will run and the wind takes a bird where it blows.
[video]
[video]
DUCK UPDATE: TODAY WE HAD A FIRE DRILL AND HE CARRIED THE DUCKY OUTSIDE WITH HIM AND CRADLED IT PROTECTIVELY AND MOTHERLY INSTINCTS ARE FUCKING ADORABLE
(via theepitomeofchaos)
Space Shuttle Discovery
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SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY
(via theepitomeofchaos)
(via hushedtoneslionel)
